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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Got a nasty message from a sender about what cards I said I would upload
On one of my Postcrossing accounts (I have several), I state that I am collecting black and white postcards, therefore, I would upload only black and
white cards to my wall. However, I do make it very clear on my profile that ALL cards would be registered, and I would appreciate all other kinds
of cards as well. In other words, "black and white" is only a preference, not a demand.
Then just yesterday, someone from Germany sent me a black & white card and wrote:-
"Please tell me, why so strict? If it's not b&w you don't hang it on your wall? Why? I'd be interested in b&w Christmas cards - is
there such a thing? Seen one?"
Firstly, I would like to ask, is there any rule on Postcrossing that states that users CANNOT choose to upload only postcards they
like onto their wall? No right? So, I don't understand why this user is asking me this question.
Secondly, what card I choose to upload into my gallery after receiving it is really MY business, and not the sender's right? I mean, after
receiving the card, it becomes MY property, doesn't it?
Thirdly, why is it such a big issue to some people whether their "sent cards" are uploaded or not??? This is really OCD to me. I don't care if
someone deletes an image of a postcard that I sent to them - it really is THEIR choice whether or not they want it to remain on their wall, isn't
it???.
After all, once you send a card to someone, it becomes THEIR property - what they want to do with it is THEIR business!!!
Comments, feedback, advice, etc! |
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mingshu
Member
    
Posts: 1369
Registered: 18-1-2006
Location: Häme
Country Flag: Finland
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well, i think a sender can upload the card too if they want? i have on my wall cards that i didnt upload myself 
i had written first in my profile that i upload only my favorite received cards, cos there are too many i dont have the "patience" to upload all -i
think it´s too hard work 
now i think i should upload also the really bad cards so that people see what some have sent 
i dont care if my cards are uploaded or not, so i think ammy that your post sound very aggressive with all that MY, THEIR and CANNOT it sounds like it is a big deal to you whether uploaded or not, and what
is uploaded 
i think that a card -via the official site, not this forum which is also concentrated at many points to particular collection interests- is to bring a
smile, simply, rather than add to someone´s collection or become anyone´s "property" or "business"  |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
Member Is Offline
Mood:
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Quote: Originally posted by mingshu  | well, i think a sender can upload the card too if they want? i have on my wall cards that i didnt upload myself 
i had written first in my profile that i upload only my favorite received cards, cos there are too many i dont have the "patience" to upload all -i
think it´s too hard work 
now i think i should upload also the really bad cards so that people see what some have sent 
i dont care if my cards are uploaded or not, so i think ammy that your post sound very aggressive with all that MY, THEIR and CANNOT it sounds like it is a big deal to you whether uploaded or not, and what
is uploaded 
i think that a card -via the official site, not this forum which is also concentrated at many points to particular collection interests- is to bring a
smile, simply, rather than add to someone´s collection or become anyone´s "property" or "business" |
Well, I maybe I shouldn't have used CAPS but rather bold 
I'm quite upset about this, because the sender makes it seem as if I am the unreasonable one.
Do you think it's unreasonable by saying that I will only upload black & white cards to my wall?
What if I changed it to, "I will only upload postcards I like"?
I don't understand why people have an issue with this. What the receiver wants to upload to their gallery should be their choice, not the sender's.
If Postcrossing had wanted the sender to have a say in whether their "sent card" gets uploaded, they would make it such that, the sender
has control whether his/her postcard appears. They would not make it such that only the recipient can control whether their card
appears.
Logical? |
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elicat
Member
   
Posts: 246
Registered: 18-7-2008
Location: Netherlands
Country Flag: Netherlands
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Mood: The best way to cheer yourself up, is to try to cheer somebody else up (Mark Twain)
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I don't think it was a rude message at all. Just a question.
It's your choice to upload the cards you want, but does this also mean that you delete the non-b&w cards that were uploaded by the sender? The
fact that you collect b&w cards has nothing to do with your postcard wall? Unless you think it looks cool on your wall to only have b&w cards?
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Yes, I do want the wall to show only b&w cards. I'm not particular about the cards I receive; I just want the wall to show only the b&w cards,
because... why not? Just because, you know!
(And, in any case, why should I need to explain to anybody for what reason I want the wall to only show certain types of cards?)
In any case, I don't get why she is upset that I am doing this. I could have not said anything in my profile beforehand, and simply choose not to
uploaded her card to the wall.
Instead, I am upfront that I want the gallery to only show b&w cards. Is there anything wrong with this?
Why am I being treated like I am unreasonable or wrong to say that I only upload b&w cards onto my wall? I mean, it IS my wall
right?
As I said before, the crux of the issue is: If Postcrossing wants the sender to be able to control whether
their card gets uploaded, they would make it that way.
And maybe, since it appears to be such a big issue to some senders that their sent cards get uploaded, Postcrossing
should consider allowing the senders to have control over their sent cards in the Postcards Wall.
This is a good issue for the creators of Postcrossing to think about! Then that way everyone will be happy right??? |
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yvi-1
Member
   
Posts: 398
Registered: 18-5-2006
Location: Southwest Florida USA
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LOL well you can claim that others are OCD about their sent cards but someone else could claim the same thing about having a wall only that has
B&W postcards. Preference or OCD? Who's to say?
You seem to want to be justified since you keep asking "is there anything wrong with this". Many people will find it wrong since many people don't see
Postcrossing as a collection website. Additionally people may already be irked by the fact that you have many different accounts each requesting a
specific type of postcard and also that you tend to send ad cards from these accounts. This may be why you get angry replies. So these folks probably
think they are justified in their anger just as you feel justified in how you interact with postcrossing and other members.
Just in case you think those are my personal thoughts, they are not - I am playing devil's advocate.
Now, what I think. The way postcrossing works right now is that you have control of the postcards you receive. I don't have a problem with that. While
I personally do like when people keep the postcards I sent on their walls, I also realize that once I put it in the post I have no control over what
happens to it. I will not waste too much energy on being angry at what happens later on. This hobby is enjoyable and if it stops being enjoyable then
I will stop doing it as well.
If you find that you are getting this type of response a lot then you may want to open one or several Flickr accounts and make galleries of the
postcards that you like to see together. |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
Member Is Offline
Mood:
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Quote: Originally posted by yvi-1  | | LOL well you can claim that others are OCD about their sent cards but someone else could claim the same thing about having a wall only that has
B&W postcards. |
Well, yes. That is true. But the current
Postcrossing rules back the recipient; they don't back the sender.
Quote: Originally posted by yvi-1  | | You seem to want to be justified since you keep asking "is there anything wrong with this". Many people will find it wrong since many people don't see
Postcrossing as a collection website. |
1. I'm not looking "to be justified", Yvonne. I'm looking for a straight "yes" or "no" answer to my question. It you can prove to me it's wrong, I
will back down.
2. The rules don't state that it's wrong to upload only a certain kind of postcards on a wall.
3. I don't INSIST on getting black and white postcards - I'm just choosing to upload only those in my gallery. I thought it would be fun to theme my
account that way. All other cards are appreciated as well - they just don't get shown on that particular gallery! If these people
want their "sent cards" to be shown, they can go open another gallery of their own and show them there!
Quote: Originally posted by yvi-1  | | Additionally people may already be irked by the fact that you have many different accounts each requesting a specific type of postcard and also that
you tend to send ad cards from these accounts. |
Now, this is where I disagree completely.
1) Prove it - http://www.postcrossing.com/user/blacknwhite/gallery/sent/1
And those are only the cards that got uploaded. I have sent loads more that were so-called "proper" tourist postcards that did not get uploaded by
their recipients.
2) Let's not get into the whole ad card issue here. If I sent a user an ad card, it was because on their profile they wrote they liked something other
than "landscape". I picked the NIN card, for example, for someone said he liked NIN. Do you think he would have been happier to receive a generic
tourist-type postcard??? I once sent a Finnish girl the same NIN card too (also a fan), even though it is a so-called "ad card", and she LOVED it. She
thanked me and said it was one of the best cards she'd received. So, who is anyone to judge my choice of cards to users I drew? I pick each card
for a reason. People who say they like tourist postcards best of all always do get one from me. The fact that I do send out tourist postcards
should show that I am serious about this hobby.
Quote: Originally posted by yvi-1  | | If you find that you are getting this type of response a lot then you may want to open one or several Flickr accounts and make galleries of the
postcards that you like to see together. |
Now, here is the key issue. Why should I be the one to open another gallery? Shouldn't it be the sender, if they insist on having their sent
postcards appear?
My Postcrossing gallery of received cards is exactly that - mine. Since I have no control over my sent cards, I don't go around dictating that people
MUST upload the card I sent them.
As I said before, if Postcrossing wants the sender to have control, they would make it that way.
Now, it would be nice to hear from some of Postcrossing's owners/people-in-charge. |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Actually, I was thinking maybe I should phrase my question a bit differently:
Is it wrong to write that I appreciate all cards, but will only upload the black and white ones to my Postcrossing "received" gallery?
OR
I want my Postcrossing "received" gallery to show only the black and white cards. Is this wrong?
If it is wrong, tell me and I will stop doing it!!!
============================
EDIT:
In other words, if you send me any kind of card, I will still be happy, but if you send me a black and white card, it's a "bonus" and it will go in
the gallery. Why? Because I thought it would be fun to have the gallery just show the black and white ones.
I don't get why people think they MUST mail me black and white cards? Why?
Answer: The only reason is because they want their sent card to appear in your gallery, and will be unhappy if it
isn't!
What I want to know is, are they justified in being unhappy? |
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geminiscp
Super Moderator
     
Posts: 10025
Registered: 8-10-2006
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
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I don't consider the question nasty. Much worse is the way you are writing things here.
First: it's no need to write on bold, big letters and underline, we can read perfectely with the Forum standard writing;
Second: English is not the main language on Germany, maybe this was the way the user know how to ask his questions (again, I don't think his words are
nasty);
Third: you ask for an opinion here, you should listen to people's opinion without it and not trying to force your idea or making a war out of it.
And no, there's no obligation to upload any card, each one is free to upload or not or just upload the cards they choose. |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Quote: Originally posted by geminiscp  | I don't consider the question nasty. Much worse is the way you are writing things here.
First: it's no need to write on bold, big letters and underline, we can read perfectely with the Forum standard writing; |
I apologise if this comes across as being aggressive.
I thought that English may not be the main language of many users here, so was just trying to emphasise certain key words in my sentences. I do that
out of habit, really - if you look at all my other posts in the forum (on other topics as well) I like to use bold, italics, underline, different font
size, etc. (Well, they are there for a reason, right?) 
Quote: Originally posted by geminiscp  | | Second: English is not the main language on Germany, maybe this was the way the user know how to ask his questions (again, I don't think his words are
nasty); |
No one would know except the sender herself.
Quote: Originally posted by geminiscp  | | Third: you ask for an opinion here, you should listen to people's opinion without it and not trying to force your idea or making a war out of it.
|
I just want an answer to my question; that question has not been answered, until now (see below).
Quote: Originally posted by geminiscp  | | And no, there's no obligation to upload any card, each one is free to upload or not or just upload the cards they choose. |
So the answer to my question is, no, it's not wrong? Well, then, thank you.
Case closed. |
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Taxingwoman
Member
   
Posts: 747
Registered: 4-12-2005
Location: Hamilton Ontario Canada
Country Flag: Canada
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Mood: Peregrines are back!
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I think the problem here (and you can correct me if I'm wrong) is two people for whom English is a second language Something is lost in
translation.
The person comments to you don't strike me as being rude. I don't think your comment about only posting b&w is rude either, but it does come
across as being picky. Do what you like with your wall, but I suggest you take that line out. Also you must expect comments to not always be
complimentary.
Members simply get tired of reading profiles that appear to be demanding, even if that is not the intention. I get tired of reading endless profiles
that are five pages of shopping lists.
It is correct that words do not need to be in caps, bold, underlined, or quoted to get the meaning across. This is something that even English people
do that drives me crazy The words convey the meaning and if they don't,you need to find different ones to explain what you mean.
I get the feeling people are getting too uptight about these walls. I don't post on my wall because most times the senders have already done that,
sometimes even before I get cards. (which totally ruins the surprise)
I don't check to see if the cards I send get uploaded either. The only time I look at walls is to see what other Canadians are sending to avoid
sending the same cards
Do what you like with your wall and enjoy yourself
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Quote: Originally posted by Taxingwoman  |
It is correct that words do not need to be in caps, bold, underlined, or quoted to get the meaning across. This is something that even English people
do that drives me crazy The words convey the meaning and if they don't,you need to find different ones to explain what you mean.
|
Haha, well, ok. I do it out of habit - if you search my posts, you will find I do it all the time.
I don't intend to be aggressive, I just want to stress/highlight the point. I had no idea people online were so sensitive about such
things. It will be HARD for me NOT to do this. <--- see what I mean? That's because I write the same way I talk (stressed words & accenting -
as a native English speaker I think you know what I mean), and I am quite vocally dramatic.
I will bear this point in mind. It's still hard to resist the bolds though. LOL 
If you look at my school study notes (I used to be an excessive note-taker in my time as a student), I used up to 12
different coloured pens for different types of points, and whatever kind of listing, bulleting, bolding, highlighting, underlining, etc method there
was, I employed it. My classmates used to find looking at my notes amusing because it was multi-coloured and almost every line of text was
highlighted.
Without making excuses for my etiquette, I would still like to ask though, what on earth are the "bold", "italic" and "underline" functions for then?
And the different font sizes?
Quote: Originally posted by Taxingwoman  |
I don't post on my wall because most times the senders have already done that, sometimes even before I get cards. (which totally ruins the
surprise) |
I had no idea you could see what you're getting before you receive it?  |
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kreb
Member
 
Posts: 51
Registered: 16-3-2007
Location: Haywards Heath, West Sussex
Country Flag: United Kingdom
Postcrossing Username: kreb
Member Is Offline
Mood: Happy Hobby Mode
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At the end of the day, it is the recipient's choice as to upload a postcard to her wall. So if ammy wishes to have her received wall to consist of
black and white postcards, that is her choice - and I support that. The sender who commented otherwise was rude, IMHO.
Sometimes a sender may scan and upload the card sent, and it usually stays on the postcard wall. Of course, the reciever may delete it if she wishes.
As I upload all my sent cards, I have not seen that happen yet, but there remains the possibility of one of my uploads get deleted. |
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jalutaja
Member
   
Posts: 732
Registered: 3-3-2008
Country Flag: Estonia
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Mood: I am a person with a worrisome difference factor
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Quote: Originally posted by kreb  | | At the end of the day, it is the recipient's choice as to upload a postcard to her wall. So if ammy wishes to have her received wall to consist of
black and white postcards, that is her choice - and I support that. |
But why do you deny the sender the choice to have all their sent cards on the sent wall? What if the empty ID with no card scanned causes pain to the
sender every time she or he looks at it?
The problem is that the sent cards section is also MY wall.
Well, I personally do not care most of times, but I have read messages, for example, on Russian forum, from very confused and hurt Postcrossers, who
had gone long way to scan their sent cards and then the receiver simply deletes the scan from wall. "Why do the receiver punish me? What did I do
wrong?" those people ask. |
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jalutaja
Member
   
Posts: 732
Registered: 3-3-2008
Country Flag: Estonia
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Mood: I am a person with a worrisome difference factor
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Quote: Originally posted by ammy  |
Quote: Originally posted by Taxingwoman  |
I don't post on my wall because most times the senders have already done that, sometimes even before I get cards. (which totally ruins the
surprise) |
I had no idea you could see what you're getting before you receive it? |
Well, actually it says on the site "Until the postcard is registered, the image is only visible to you."
So no surprises will be ruined. |
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Mickaela
Member
   
Posts: 405
Registered: 27-6-2008
Location: London
Country Flag: United Kingdom
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Mood: TV taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal.
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Quote: Originally posted by jalutaja  | Quote: Originally posted by kreb  | | At the end of the day, it is the recipient's choice as to upload a postcard to her wall. So if ammy wishes to have her received wall to consist of
black and white postcards, that is her choice - and I support that. |
But why do you deny the sender the choice to have all their sent cards on the sent wall? What if the empty ID with no card scanned causes pain to the
sender every time she or he looks at it?
The problem is that the sent cards section is also MY wall.
Well, I personally do not care most of times, but I have read messages, for example, on Russian forum, from very confused and hurt Postcrossers, who
had gone long way to scan their sent cards and then the receiver simply deletes the scan from wall. "Why do the receiver punish me? What did I do
wrong?" those people ask. |
Ultimately, though, it's the recipient's choice because only s/he can upload or delete images after the card is registered. Ammy is right that if it
were intended for both parties to decide equally, they would both be enabled to do that. While I don't think the message ammy got was very nasty, I
agree with her that it's her choice what cards she wants to upload on her wall. At least in her case, unlike those of Russian members you mention,
everyone knows in advance whether or not their card will be featured on her wall. I don't think it's a punishment, it's just ammy's choice and it
should be respected. I don't think one missing card on anyone's wall is such a big issue anyway, but maybe it's just the careless me After all, we send cards to make the recipient happy, not to have our
card scanned somewhere! |
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toddschoonover
New Member

Posts: 5
Registered: 23-1-2006
Location: Coudersport, PA, USA
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Mood: No Mood
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Reading the question that the sender asked, I definitely think that there was no rudeness intended. The sender may not have realized that you have
multiple accounts and for this specific account you are asking for B&W cards. I do agree with you that you are very open on your profile that you
will accept non-B&W cards.
I do think that you are coming across very aggressively in this thread. Postcrossing is supposed to be fun for everyone. Some Postcrossers like to
have their sent cards appear on their wall. You are correct that you the recipient can control it once you receive it. Personally I would never
delete an already uploaded card, but you do have that ability.
I'm sorry that this has you so upset. Please try not to add tone or negativity in things that are written on the cards. You have no idea what the
person's intonation is in the question, and by adding a negative one you've produced this whole thread.
Best wishes for your collection and I hope that you receive cards that you will enjoy and want to upload to your wall to share with all of us. |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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If that is so, then why did she write this line:
"I'd be interested in b&w Christmas cards - is there such a thing? Seen one?"
Is that to be sarcastic?
Also, that is kind of a moot point.
Without this line, her message would not have been "rude" to me. |
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toddschoonover
New Member

Posts: 5
Registered: 23-1-2006
Location: Coudersport, PA, USA
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Mood: No Mood
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Quote: Originally posted by ammy  |
If that is so, then why did she write this line:
"I'd be interested in b&w Christmas cards - is there such a thing? Seen one?"
Is that to be sarcastic?
Also, that is kind of a moot point.
Without this line, her message would not have been "rude" to me. |
If you read her profile, she says she is interested in Christmas cards. I don't interpret her question as sarcastic at all. I think it was an honest
question asking you if you've ever seen any black and white Christmas cards.
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Jetske
Super Moderator
     
Posts: 4202
Registered: 25-3-2006
Location: Goes, Zeeland, Netherlands
Country Flag: Netherlands
Postcrossing Username: Jetske
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Mood: I wish cheese was a vegetable
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Quote: Originally posted by toddschoonover  | Quote: Originally posted by ammy  |
If that is so, then why did she write this line:
"I'd be interested in b&w Christmas cards - is there such a thing? Seen one?"
Is that to be sarcastic?
Also, that is kind of a moot point.
Without this line, her message would not have been "rude" to me. |
If you read her profile, she says she is interested in Christmas cards. I don't interpret her question as sarcastic at all. I think it was an honest
question asking you if you've ever seen any black and white Christmas cards.
|
That is what I think as well. The member must have thought, after seeing your wall, she might know if there are B/W Christmas cards. In my opinion, it
is an honest question.  |
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Mundoo
Head Forum Administrator
       
Posts: 4482
Registered: 30-11-2005
Location: Hindmarsh Island Australia
Country Flag: Australia
Postcrossing Username: Mundoo
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Mood: Not all those who wander are lost
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Quote: Originally posted by ammy  |
Quote: Originally posted by Taxingwoman  |
I don't post on my wall because most times the senders have already done that, sometimes even before I get cards. (which totally ruins the
surprise) |
I had no idea you could see what you're getting before you receive it? |
The receiver can't see an image that has been previously uploaded for an unregistered postcard, only the sender can (as they are the one who uploaded
it) |
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Mundoo
Head Forum Administrator
       
Posts: 4482
Registered: 30-11-2005
Location: Hindmarsh Island Australia
Country Flag: Australia
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Mood: Not all those who wander are lost
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Your comments have been noted.
But honestly what do you specifically want us to do? |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
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Mood:
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Hi Mundoo
Thanks for replying. I think geminiscp has already answered my question with regards to whether it is wrong to say that I will only upload certain
postcard images to my "received" wall.
I think what Postcrossing needs to consider, is letting senders also have control over whether their "sent postcard" gets shown, since it appears to
be such a big issue to some people.
What do you think? I would like to hear your views and those of other mods and people-in-charge too.
(Personally though, I don't care if my "sent card" gets shown or not - it is the recipient's choice whether they want to let my uploaded image stay or
delete it.) |
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Matsu
New Member

Posts: 6
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Country Flag: Japan
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Hi ammy,
I wish you would try to understand how sender feel 
When the enjoyment as which the sender chooses the postcard is lost, can the postcrossing be really continued? |
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ammy
Member
  
Posts: 108
Registered: 30-4-2009
Location: Singapore
Country Flag: Singapore
Postcrossing Username: ammy
Member Is Offline
Mood:
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Quote: Originally posted by Matsu  | Hi ammy,
I wish you would try to understand how sender feel 
When the enjoyment as which the sender chooses the postcard is lost, can the postcrossing be really continued? |
Hi Matsu
Please read the above. We have discussed this.
The issue is that, if Postcrossing wants the sender to be able to control whether his sent postcard will appear, they will make it that way.
Still waiting for opinions from the Postcrossing people-in-charge about this. |
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