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Author: Subject: Disappointing cards?
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 08:13 AM


Saturday I received a postcard from the Catholic youth organisation the sender works at. So it's a free card and about religion, something I'm not interested in. I told the sender that I didn't enjoy the card and I advised him to buy some postcards instead of sending out free ones from his work.

I have now added a line to my profile stating I'm not interested in religion.
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 10:45 AM


How would've the sender known you don't care about religion/that themed card, if that was not mentioned on your profile? Reading your profile, you tell a little about your work, so maybe the sender thought you are interested in other people's work as well, and that's the reason to choose to send it to you?
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 01:01 PM


I do see your point, which is why I have added it to my profile now. I guess for me it's logical to send something the user likes and if I don't have that I just send a postcard with my hometown on it. I think religious cards are so specific it's a risk to send it. I don't think it's weird, it's just disappointing to me.

I also don't want to be THAT user that has a long list of things I don't like, I'd rather focus on things I do like or receive nice messages on the back. But, Postcrossing is a little bit of a gamble and sometimes you love a card and sometimes you don't.
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 04:25 PM


@Thisbe...How do you know the card was free? I was curious because many charitable organizations will have greeting cards or postcards to offer for different amounts of money donated on their websites. The Catholic Youth (CYO) group is a charitable organization and I can't imagine one of their postcards being defined as religious, other than having the name 'Catholic' on it and a cross.

Postcrossers aren't suppose to make demands of what they want, but only can suggest ideas of what they would appreciate having. Plus, the card is suppose to be unused. That's it...You get what someone was thoughtful enough to send you and hopefully be happy with it and thank the sender for sending it. If not, move on to the next one.:)
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 05:53 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Sfander  
@Thisbe...How do you know the card was free? I was curious because many charitable organizations will have greeting cards or postcards to offer for different amounts of money donated on their websites. The Catholic Youth (CYO) group is a charitable organization and I can't imagine one of their postcards being defined as religious, other than having the name 'Catholic' on it and a cross.

Postcrossers aren't suppose to make demands of what they want, but only can suggest ideas of what they would appreciate having. Plus, the card is suppose to be unused. That's it...You get what someone was thoughtful enough to send you and hopefully be happy with it and thank the sender for sending it. If not, move on to the next one.:)


It is pretty easy to identify this sender. The guy sends the same batch of cards to pretty much everyone, they are advertising cards (at least, I have seen such cards given away at festivals; sometimes they will even stamp and send it for you if you write the card out and address it at their booth), and he says in his profile that he works for the organization. The cards have pictures of happy smiling young people, not of a crucifix or Pieta, but they are designed to encourage people to want to be a part of their Christian organization, either as a youth member or a supporter. I personally would not have complained to the sender, but I think it is fair for Thisbe to say that they are free cards he got at work and that they are religious in nature.

That said, I am totally with you in the "politely register it, toss it and move on to the next one" approach. It *is* a postcard, after all, and there is no requirement that anyone can't send the same ad card to everyone.
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 07:38 PM


Quote: Originally posted by thisbe  
But, Postcrossing is a little bit of a gamble and sometimes you love a card and sometimes you don't.


And isn't that part of the fun? (for me, it is)

I do say I'm not religious in my profile but sometimes I think of taking that off - first because I don't like to have too many limits, and secondly because I don't think there would be that many members sending religious themed cards so it's not like I'd get one very often, and it's not like I'd hate it or anything... I just wouldn't enjoy it as much as a beautiful picture of a beautiful place.
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[*] posted on 1-10-2018 at 11:08 PM


I have been collecting free/ad cards for around 25 years and would be surprised if the cards under discussion are freebies - a look at this PXers site revealed ten or more designs, and in my experience organisations (especially charities) do not go to that much expense on producing giveaways.

I am disappointed by the subject matter of some of the cards I am sent, such as a Marvel Comics card sent from India or a generic Christmas card sent out of season, but as we all know, you cannot expect every card to tick all the boxes.

The card from India had my name in Hindi in the message, which made it a great card otherwise!
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 04:06 AM


Thisbe, I agree, it's a gamble, and surprise what you get, so therefore don't you think the comment you wrote the sender, and advice to buy cards, feels a bit rough? As there's no rule you must use money for the cards.

Also when in your profile you write: "If you don't have any cards from this list, that's okay too, just send me anything you think I'd like"
and: "Write anything you want to tell me on your postcard"
so after these, I would've thought it's ok to write about religion, or whatever, and I'd be kind of surprised getting a thank you Hurray where you reverse your profile text :).

I too, looked what kinds cards those are, not religious by looking at the picture, they are photo -pictures (what you wrote in your profile, that you like).
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 05:57 AM


I'm sorry, I may have come across a little strong.

I posted in here because to me the card was disappointing. I am not making demands, everyone is free to send what they have, but to me it's unfair to send free cards when other users buy cards. Sure there's no rule for it, but that's how I see it. And to me, a card that promoted a religious organisation is religious, but again, it wasn't in my profile so there's no way of knowing. I actually prefer drawings and paintings over photos, but that's also fine.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone and I didn't expect such backlash. I only voiced my opinion on a disappointing AD card I received. Now, toss it and move on. It's not the first card that disappointed me and it won't be the last, I just thought I contribute to the topic.
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 06:28 AM


After all, I understand the disappointment :). I hope you'll get a lovely, uplifting card next time!

I try not to think what is fair moneywise, as some have so much more money to spend, and some have cheaper cards to buy. So, if a wealthy postcrosser buys a cheap card, it's almost equal as a low income postcrosser takes a free card or something like that. (Both pay postage, of course, so it's not totally free for either one.)
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 02:20 PM


Quote: Originally posted by thisbe  
I'm sorry, I may have come across a little strong.

I posted in here because to me the card was disappointing. I am not making demands, everyone is free to send what they have, but to me it's unfair to send free cards when other users buy cards. Sure there's no rule for it, but that's how I see it. And to me, a card that promoted a religious organization is religious, but again, it wasn't in my profile so there's no way of knowing. I actually prefer drawings and paintings over photos, but that's also fine.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone and I didn't expect such backlash. I only voiced my opinion on a disappointing AD card I received. Now, toss it and move on. It's not the first card that disappointed me and it won't be the last, I just thought I contribute to the topic.


One reason I like reading General Topics posts is because I can see different viewpoints about different subjects. I think you handled this in a very mature manner. As did those who replied to you. I think you experienced surprise rather than a backlash. I commend you on contacting the sender regarding the disappointment you felt. Even PostCrossing's administrators suggest that be done with cards that are marginal.

One last thing about things in, not-in, a profile. My approach is to send postcards that are general in nature; if the recipient notes they like a specific subject, I will send that if I have it. The problem sometimes occurs when mailers make assumptions. A sender would never send a sauna card with people depicted nude to a Muslim country (I hope not). And yet, I received such a card. Why? Because I am a man and would like to see nude women? A big assumption...and a very faulty one. Wrote to the sender privately; apology offered and accepted.:):)
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 02:29 PM


Quote: Originally posted by CaptainSoul  
Quote: Originally posted by thisbe  
I'm sorry, I may have come across a little strong.

I posted in here because to me the card was disappointing. I am not making demands, everyone is free to send what they have, but to me it's unfair to send free cards when other users buy cards. Sure there's no rule for it, but that's how I see it. And to me, a card that promoted a religious organization is religious, but again, it wasn't in my profile so there's no way of knowing. I actually prefer drawings and paintings over photos, but that's also fine.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone and I didn't expect such backlash. I only voiced my opinion on a disappointing AD card I received. Now, toss it and move on. It's not the first card that disappointed me and it won't be the last, I just thought I contribute to the topic.


One reason I like reading General Topics posts is because I can see different viewpoints about different subjects. I think you handled this in a very mature manner. As did those who replied to you. I think you experienced surprise rather than a backlash. I commend you on contacting the sender regarding the disappointment you felt. Even PostCrossing's administrators suggest that be done with cards that are marginal.

One last thing about things in, not-in, a profile. My approach is to send postcards that are general in nature; if the recipient notes they like a specific subject, I will send that if I have it. The problem sometimes occurs when mailers make assumptions. A sender would never send a sauna card with people depicted nude to a Muslim country (I hope not). And yet, I received such a card. Why? Because I am a man and would like to see nude women? A big assumption...and a very faulty one. Wrote to the sender privately; apology offered and accepted.:):)


Did they actually say that was why they sent that card? :shocked2: I'm glad you contacted the sender about it.

I could see possibly considering a sauna card as illustrating say, Finnish culture, and being of general interest. But there's no need to assume someone would welcome nudes just because of their gender! I send such "questionable" cards only to those who specifically request it.
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[*] posted on 2-10-2018 at 02:35 PM


Thank you, Captain Soul, for making this point: "One last thing about things in, not-in, a profile. My approach is to send postcards that are general in nature; if the recipient notes they like a specific subject, I will send that if I have it. The problem sometimes occurs when mailers make assumptions. A sender would never send a sauna card with people depicted nude to a Muslim country (I hope not). And yet, I received such a card. Why? Because I am a man and would like to see nude women? A big assumption...and a very faulty one. Wrote to the sender privately; apology offered and accepted.:):)"

No one who knows me would describe me as a prude, yet, when I receive a postcard depicting nudity, I'm uncomfortable about having it on my wall, and I've deleted a few that were uploaded by the senders. I especially don't like photos that I consider exploitative of women or that depict us negatively (as stupid, foolish, predatory, greedy, etc.). My reaction always surprises me a bit. Maybe it's the public nature of our sent/received walls and the fact that I think nudity and sexuality are best when expressed in private. At the same time, I like what I perceive as the more liberal attitudes of many European Postcrossers. Maybe I'm just a product of a Puritan American up-bringing? :-)
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[*] posted on 3-10-2018 at 03:50 PM


Quote: Originally posted by fire.maggie  
Quote: Originally posted by CaptainSoul  
Quote: Originally posted by thisbe  
I'm sorry, I may have come across a little strong.

I posted in here because to me the card was disappointing. I am not making demands, everyone is free to send what they have, but to me it's unfair to send free cards when other users buy cards. Sure there's no rule for it, but that's how I see it. And to me, a card that promoted a religious organization is religious, but again, it wasn't in my profile so there's no way of knowing. I actually prefer drawings and paintings over photos, but that's also fine.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone and I didn't expect such backlash. I only voiced my opinion on a disappointing AD card I received. Now, toss it and move on. It's not the first card that disappointed me and it won't be the last, I just thought I contribute to the topic.


One reason I like reading General Topics posts is because I can see different viewpoints about different subjects. I think you handled this in a very mature manner. As did those who replied to you. I think you experienced surprise rather than a backlash. I commend you on contacting the sender regarding the disappointment you felt. Even PostCrossing's administrators suggest that be done with cards that are marginal.

One last thing about things in, not-in, a profile. My approach is to send postcards that are general in nature; if the recipient notes they like a specific subject, I will send that if I have it. The problem sometimes occurs when mailers make assumptions. A sender would never send a sauna card with people depicted nude to a Muslim country (I hope not). And yet, I received such a card. Why? Because I am a man and would like to see nude women? A big assumption...and a very faulty one. Wrote to the sender privately; apology offered and accepted.:):)


Did they actually say that was why they sent that card? :shocked2: I'm glad you contacted the sender about it.

I could see possibly considering a sauna card as illustrating say, Finnish culture, and being of general interest. But there's no need to assume someone would welcome nudes just because of their gender! I send such "questionable" cards only to those who specifically request it.


They sent the card for exactly the reason you stated: part of Finnish culture. I have seen other, similar cards (not part of PostCrossing) on other sites, so what you noted is accurate.
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[*] posted on 3-10-2018 at 04:15 PM


Quote: Originally posted by lydacher  

No one who knows me would describe me as a prude, yet, when I receive a postcard depicting nudity, I'm uncomfortable about having it on my wall, and I've deleted a few that were uploaded by the senders. I especially don't like photos that I consider exploitative of women or that depict us negatively (as stupid, foolish, predatory, greedy, etc.). My reaction always surprises me a bit. Maybe it's the public nature of our sent/received walls and the fact that I think nudity and sexuality are best when expressed in private. At the same time, I like what I perceive as the more liberal attitudes of many European Postcrossers. Maybe I'm just a product of a Puritan American up-bringing? :-)


You should not feel inhibited about expressing your thoughts about what you receive in the mail. Just because certain societies hold liberal attitudes, as you call them, doesn't mean you have to conform to that. That is a huge problem in the modern day; many allow others to shape their thinking on various subjects.

I was not raised with a "Puritan upbringing." But I try to limit my exposure to certain things. Male/Female Nudity on postcards is one thing. I seethe when I get pictures of children depicting their bare behinds with a joke or humorous captions. I had to reprove someone that was close to me (a lady) for sending me such an item.

Lastly, you referred to things that are exploitative of women. For a very long time, I refuse to watch movies, TV programs, etc. that degrade women, especially in terms of violence. :thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown:

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[*] posted on 3-10-2018 at 07:49 PM


Quote: Originally posted by CaptainSoul  
Quote: Originally posted by lydacher  

No one who knows me would describe me as a prude, yet, when I receive a postcard depicting nudity, I'm uncomfortable about having it on my wall, and I've deleted a few that were uploaded by the senders. I especially don't like photos that I consider exploitative of women or that depict us negatively (as stupid, foolish, predatory, greedy, etc.). My reaction always surprises me a bit. Maybe it's the public nature of our sent/received walls and the fact that I think nudity and sexuality are best when expressed in private. At the same time, I like what I perceive as the more liberal attitudes of many European Postcrossers. Maybe I'm just a product of a Puritan American up-bringing? :-)


You should not feel inhibited about expressing your thoughts about what you receive in the mail. Just because certain societies hold liberal attitudes, as you call them, doesn't mean you have to conform to that. That is a huge problem in the modern day; many allow others to shape their thinking on various subjects.

I was not raised with a "Puritan upbringing." But I try to limit my exposure to certain things. Male/Female Nudity on postcards is one thing. I seethe when I get pictures of children depicting their bare behinds with a joke or humorous captions. I had to reprove someone that was close to me (a lady) for sending me such an item.

Lastly, you referred to things that are exploitative of women. For a very long time, I refuse to watch movies, TV programs, etc. that degrade women, especially in terms of violence. :thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown:



To me as a part of a society with „liberal attitude“ my pc etiquette is quite simple:

No politics to Russia, no addresses written with red ink to China and no nudities to USA.

This way I get along with everyone well.
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[*] posted on 3-10-2018 at 10:08 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Bavaricus  
no addresses written with red ink to China

Why not? Well, I have never tried that, but you certainly have a reason to particularly avoid that.
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[*] posted on 4-10-2018 at 02:54 AM


Quote: Originally posted by RalfH  
Quote: Originally posted by Bavaricus  
no addresses written with red ink to China

Why not? Well, I have never tried that, but you certainly have a reason to particularly avoid that.


Writing ones name in red means in Chinese culture that this person is dead or wishing the person was dead.
Also valid for Japan. There they even avoid to write names in green - because persons with colour blindness might see it as red.
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[*] posted on 4-10-2018 at 07:52 PM


@browntrout...Thank you very much for that information on the coloured ink. I never knew that and am very happy to know it now. Every once in a while, I get creative with coloured inks...I'll never do it again. I wouldn't like to know that I had offended anyone. I love Postcrossing because you learn something new everyday!

In reference to receiving nudity postcards, especially of a child's bare bum. It would not have been delivered here in Canada. It would have been considered child pornography and destroyed. Just as innocent photos taken by moms and dads of their babies in bathtubs are. Photo shops are not allowed to print them and are encouraged to report them to the police.
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 02:26 AM


Wow, the thing about the ink is something I've never thought of! I've used different colored inks before. I don't think I've used red. I'm more likely to use orange, yellow, teal or other colors I like.

On nudity: I enjoy pinups but I completely understand not everyone does. Thus, I would never send one out. I'm starting to get cards printed with my original photography because it's work I'm proud of (and my major in college!) but I do a lot of creepy work: Road kill, fake blood, ect. So I won't make cards to send with those things on it. My friend said "But that's your ~ART~ It's my favorite thing about you. It's what you're known for (around campus in a positive light) I told her that when you're a postcrosser it's important to include aspects of your interests but you have to think of the person you're sending to.
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 02:49 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Sfander  
In reference to receiving nudity postcards, especially of a child's bare bum. It would not have been delivered here in Canada. It would have been considered child pornography and destroyed. Just as innocent photos taken by moms and dads of their babies in bathtubs are. Photo shops are not allowed to print them and are encouraged to report them to the police.


In my prior post, when I said that I received a picture of a child's bare bottom with a humorous caption, I should have qualified the comment. Just to be clear: It was an online picture - NOT something posted to me.
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 04:04 AM


@CaptainSoul...Yes, I do believe I understood your meaning, it just brought to mind that such postcards are out there and are not acceptable in today's world. I believe both our countries have similar laws on this topic and thankfully they are taken seriously.
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 06:08 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Sfander  
@CaptainSoul...Yes, I do believe I understood your meaning, it just brought to mind that such postcards are out there and are not acceptable in today's world. I believe both our countries have similar laws on this topic and thankfully they are taken seriously.


Nude children are absolutely unacceptable.
Just out of interest: US post seems to have no problems with nude adults on cards?
Although I usually do not send cards with nudity to America, I sent this card 4 times to US postcrossers who liked it and it always arrived quick and safe. (Do not open if you are offended by nudity).
https://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/DE-5408337
And this one also arrived without problems
https://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/DE-6609619
So to me it seems US Post is more tolerant than expected.
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 09:29 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Bavaricus  
Quote: Originally posted by Sfander  
@CaptainSoul...Yes, I do believe I understood your meaning, it just brought to mind that such postcards are out there and are not acceptable in today's world. I believe both our countries have similar laws on this topic and thankfully they are taken seriously.


Nude children are absolutely unacceptable.


Like Anne Geddes?
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[*] posted on 5-10-2018 at 10:37 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Bavaricus  
Quote: Originally posted by RalfH  
Quote: Originally posted by Bavaricus  
no addresses written with red ink to China

Why not? Well, I have never tried that, but you certainly have a reason to particularly avoid that.


Writing ones name in red means in Chinese culture that this person is dead or wishing the person was dead.
Also valid for Japan. There they even avoid to write names in green - because persons with colour blindness might see it as red.

Thanks! I usually take ballpens that write black or blue. Are there any issues about black, blue or ballpens anywhere?
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