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Tuftycat
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biggrin.gif posted on 27-10-2010 at 03:34 PM
Penpal Discussion Thread!


Here's a thread where we can all discuss penpalling or ask questions! If you've any stories to share let's hear them! :D
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[*] posted on 2-1-2016 at 09:52 PM


I hope you don't mind my intruding here, but:
What are your opinions on sending photos to your penpals? I'd like to send her a few pictures of my city, etc., but I truly don't want to make her uncomfortable or feel like she's obliged to send anything back to me. And I'd rather not ask her, either.
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[*] posted on 2-1-2016 at 10:07 PM


I think it's a lovely idea personally. I've received and sent small thumbnail (ish) sized photos glued to the letter and written about what the photo shows. Recently I sent some of our local carnival as I was talking about it in the letter.
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[*] posted on 13-1-2016 at 09:06 AM


I was wondering what your feelings are towards presents in the first letter...
I wanted to start penpalling with japanese guys but one of them said he sent some present with the letter. At first I thought it will just be something small but today he said the present will be over the custom free fee (in Germany it's 45€) It does make me feel quite uncomfortable... I hope he didn't misunderstand my intention .__.
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[*] posted on 16-1-2016 at 04:38 PM


Why do most people reject printed letters? I receive very nice and interesting handwritten letters, but typed letters, too. And I also received boring short handwritten letters. I type my letters. I print photos, I answer questions. I ask questions. I tell about my every day life. I endlose cards or brochures, use stickers. And that's what I expect from my penpals, too. The writing is really indifferent for me. And my hand writing is not really beautifull also.Isn't it the content that counts?

Greetings from Germany
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[*] posted on 16-1-2016 at 05:49 PM


I think people reject printed letters when they seem like they could be ones easily sent to lots of people for example first letters that are not personal. I just received a printed letter and I could tell it was personal to me and I was very happy to receive it.

@Striffy not sure what to say in your case, I would feel awkward too and would not be very good at dealing with it, so not much help I'm afraid! Hopefully someone will offer some advice soon.
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[*] posted on 17-1-2016 at 07:27 AM


I personally don't reject printed letters especially first letter. I myself print my first letter. Admittedly, I pre-typed them, but make sure to add personal paragraphs in between. This is because I always volunteer to send the first letter, and chances are only 50% reply, and 5% of them stay. I've wrote the same thing over and over again, so I just pre-type them. But I write my replies with hand.

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[*] posted on 23-1-2016 at 09:02 PM


Quote: Originally posted by AnMiSa  
Why do most people reject printed letters? I receive very nice and interesting handwritten letters, but typed letters, too. And I also received boring short handwritten letters. I type my letters. I print photos, I answer questions. I ask questions. I tell about my every day life. I endlose cards or brochures, use stickers. And that's what I expect from my penpals, too. The writing is really indifferent for me. And my hand writing is not really beautifull also.Isn't it the content that counts?

Greetings from Germany


I don't really like receiving typed letters, though if the friend has written a very personal letter I would still reply. But I still prefer handwritten letters.
I don't mind bad handwriting at all as I usually can tell what the writer wants to say^^ I do think it gives the letter more personality as a handwriting is quite unique :)
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[*] posted on 25-1-2016 at 04:12 PM


I love letters written by hand, I never printed a letter on computer. In the first letter I sometimes send a postcard with views of the city. I like to do sometimes small gifts (tea, small chocolates, cards, stickers). Of course, I always hope to have a long pen friendship, but not always so. Maybe someone my letters seem to be boring and not interesting. Or not everyone wants to be friends in the letters with Russian people.
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[*] posted on 3-2-2016 at 01:51 AM


although I prefer handwritten letters I have had one person type them due to health problems and it's easier for her- that sometimes does happen :) I would never not accept someone if they typed their letters but that's just my own view- everyone's different and that's ok! ;)
I always handwrite mine- I do have long-term health issues and really really hope it will never stop me from doing handwritten letters! Oh dear no I can't bear to think of that!
I send small non-costly items with my letters- such as stickers and I have postcards made from my own photos and send those too. I can't get postcards of my town so I do my own! It's a great idea- if you've never tried doing that- it's worth a go! :D
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[*] posted on 4-2-2016 at 03:03 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Lovesnooker  
I love letters written by hand, I never printed a letter on computer. In the first letter I sometimes send a postcard with views of the city. I like to do sometimes small gifts (tea, small chocolates, cards, stickers). Of course, I always hope to have a long pen friendship, but not always so. Maybe someone my letters seem to be boring and not interesting. Or not everyone wants to be friends in the letters with Russian people.


No one will stop writing to you because you're Russian :) Many people are just not ready to commit... or life comes in the way. Priority is important, and life is more important than penpals. But these people should never really get a penpal in the first place.
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[*] posted on 5-2-2016 at 05:14 PM


On printed vs. typed letters - I don't mind either way. It is the intention of the person writing the letter that I worry about more. I have two pen pals who type their letters to me and they always decorate them nicely and they're very personal letters. It is just easier for them to type. And it is faster in most cases. I know that for myself, sometimes it can take me days to get around to finishing a letter, especially if it's someone I've been writing to for a long time and our friendship is strong. I do generally try to hand write my letters, though. In the end it is all about what you want. We all have different preferences. :)
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[*] posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:22 PM


Quote: Originally posted by darah  
Quote: Originally posted by Lovesnooker  
I love letters written by hand, I never printed a letter on computer. In the first letter I sometimes send a postcard with views of the city. I like to do sometimes small gifts (tea, small chocolates, cards, stickers). Of course, I always hope to have a long pen friendship, but not always so. Maybe someone my letters seem to be boring and not interesting. Or not everyone wants to be friends in the letters with Russian people.


No one will stop writing to you because you're Russian :) Many people are just not ready to commit... or life comes in the way. Priority is important, and life is more important than penpals. But these people should never really get a penpal in the first place.


1. I would absolutely not mind writing to Russians.
2. Life might be different, changeable, bussy. There might be fewer time for penpals. But that's no reason just to stop writing. There should always be time for a short message, to keep the contact alive or to explain, why one won't write anymore. Some of my friendships begann with long regularly written letters and now remain with just an E-Mail from time to time. It's the friendship that counts, not the number of words you exchange.
3. I prefer exchanging also e-mail addresses though I send snail mail letters. It recently happened to me that my new penpal and I both waited for a letter from the other. We worried, were sad, disappointed...All that because one letter went missing. That could have been the end of our friendship. But luckily my friend sent me a message, and we started writing again.
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[*] posted on 8-4-2016 at 06:54 PM


I prefer handwriting. I think it shows the person's personality, and is more special. I hand write all my letters because I find it relaxing, and part of my enjoyment of snail mailing is getting away from the computer! Also my handwriting is very clear, so I know anyone will easily be able to read it.

However, I don't mind hand typed letters as long as I feel that they are personal. I know that people have disabilities, and some people's cursive is veeery difficult to decipher (but I have yet to write to someone I truly could not understand). I think lots of people dislike typed letters, because some people will just type up one letter for all 50 of their pen pals, and there's no spirit in it. It's an unfair reputation that doesn't apply to everyone however. :)

Anna- I understand what you mean about losing pen pals. It's really sad, and I'm sorry you've gone through that so much. My mother is still writing to some pen pals since she was a teenager (about 40 years!!) and I really want that too, but most pen pals seem to disappear eventually. Of course I understand that sometimes they lose interest, or might not "click" with me, but a little goodbye note is always nice so I'm not left looking expectantly in the empty postbox every day.



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[*] posted on 9-4-2016 at 08:06 PM


Losing pen pals...
Sometimes it's just a letter that went missing. Both are dissappointed, waiting for the other to write back.
Give them another chance. Make one more try! It happened to me twice. I was angry about my pen pal. Then a X-Mas card arrived and we found out a letter was lost.
Such a lot of expired cards via postcrossing. That happens to letters, too.
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[*] posted on 23-6-2016 at 02:59 AM


I am deleting this as it has been already answered, thank you so much, minshu and FairyFoot, again! :)
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[*] posted on 27-6-2016 at 04:01 AM


pjazz, an interesting problem ...most likely she has the need to write all that down, it helps her deal with it -and if she thinks about it she surely knows it´s not interesting for anyone to read... she could write it in a diary but she might just need a brief encouraging comment back from you and that´s it :) you could just read it through quickly and not spend time with it, and write back a brief positive comment but not in a way that could encourage her to continue on the same topic :lol: and try to inspire her to write on something else, write eg. "i would love to hear more about..."
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[*] posted on 27-6-2016 at 04:07 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Striffy  
I was wondering what your feelings are towards presents in the first letter...
I wanted to start penpalling with japanese guys but one of them said he sent some present with the letter. At first I thought it will just be something small but today he said the present will be over the custom free fee (in Germany it's 45€) It does make me feel quite uncomfortable... I hope he didn't misunderstand my intention .__.


wow :P it is too much, definitely ...at the beginning. i had a similar thing happen with a korean guy, he was really nice and his intentions good i have no doubt but he sent me a too expensive gift ...i had to go pick it up at customs and pay a fee :duh: i told him then that please do not send valuable gifts... it was all right then -but he did seem to have some kind of romantic interest eventually as he got upset over a date i had or something so then he stopped writing... you´ll find out easily enough if the guy has other interest than friendship :lol: do let him know there is no need to send expensive gifts, that it may cause you problems :thumbup:
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[*] posted on 27-6-2016 at 11:17 AM


I know sometimes you just don't want all the negativity, but friendships can't all be about all the good times and none of the bad. Sometimes, a friend just needs someone to talk to. Sometimes, you just need to get something written/said.

Perhaps you could say that you are going to start a journal/diary, somewhere you can write all the good and bad stuff down and say you have found this therapeutic/helpful. Perhaps you could suggest for your penpal to do the same.

However, generally in the media, there is more negative stuff than positive. People complain to businesses more than they say about good experiences.
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[*] posted on 27-6-2016 at 03:52 PM


@ minshu and FairyFoot

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. :) Most likely she and I will continue corresponding in a very slow pace, so I will try to take it easy and I will definitely slowly find the good postive way for both of us about this matter. :)

Quote: Originally posted by mingshu  
Quote: Originally posted by Striffy  
I was wondering what your feelings are towards presents in the first letter...
I wanted to start penpalling with japanese guys but one of them said he sent some present with the letter. At first I thought it will just be something small but today he said the present will be over the custom free fee (in Germany it's 45€) It does make me feel quite uncomfortable... I hope he didn't misunderstand my intention .__.


wow :P it is too much, definitely ...at the beginning. i had a similar thing happen with a korean guy, he was really nice and his intentions good i have no doubt but he sent me a too expensive gift ...i had to go pick it up at customs and pay a fee :duh: i told him then that please do not send valuable gifts... it was all right then -but he did seem to have some kind of romantic interest eventually as he got upset over a date i had or something so then he stopped writing... you´ll find out easily enough if the guy has other interest than friendship :lol: do let him know there is no need to send expensive gifts, that it may cause you problems :thumbup:


@ striffy
You can tell him or other similar (Japanese?) guys that you REALLY prefer them to send you JUST ONE (!) 300 yen item that they can find unbelievably easily in the area they live in if they really want to send you something with a letter - a non rare stuff, definitely. Then, they will easily figure you just want a good friendship with them (no romance). But, if the friendship lasts or not, I am really not sure about it, though..... I hope this helps somehow. :)
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biggrin.gif posted on 2-7-2016 at 02:51 AM
looking for penpals


Hi.. Im Christian Hadhinata from Indonesia. 16 y.o. I'm looking for penpal from arround the world :) if you are interest, you can U2U me or send email at christianuye@gmail.com

I'm collecting all coins from arround the world. I hope you can help me :)

Best..
Christian
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[*] posted on 5-7-2016 at 04:14 AM


I'm one of the ones who sometimes types. I prefer sending/receiving handwritten letters, just because so much of my life is typewritten. I don't mind at all if someone types their letters, though, and I hope nobody minds when I type mine. I'm one of the ones who's sometimes not able to handwrite my letter because of a disability, so sometimes typing on the computer and printing it up is the best way for me to stay in touch. I also have a typewriter collection that I like to use when I can, so sometimes I'll type letters that way. I love the way letters done on a typewriter come out - you can see where the typewriter pressed the letters into the page, and different typewriters have different quirks, so whichever one I write a letter on, I know it's going to be unique to that typewriter.

It's extra cheerful to get decorated mail, though, so I always try to use fun stationery, or add stickers and washi tape or little doodles. I can't always manage it (same reason as why I have to type my letters sometimes), but usually I can.

When I receive letters, I'm not really that worried about whether they're typed or handwritten, or if they're decorated or on special stationery. I like that stuff, but different people have different preferences, abilities, and priorities. The most important thing to me is the correspondence, and that we're both enjoying writing to each other.
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[*] posted on 6-8-2016 at 11:53 PM


I also type sometimes, because I'm getting older and writing by hand causes my hands to hurt occasionally. However, no one would ever read a letter I typed and think it was a pre-saved file. I wouldn't want to receive a bulk letter either. It makes me think of those "Christmas letters" that some people write.
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[*] posted on 2-9-2016 at 07:15 AM


Hello!

I'm going to start penpalling, but I've got a problem with my handwriting. My handwriting is fairly easy to read, but I'm a terribly messy writer. I try my best, but I always end up smudging the text, my lines are anything but straight - you get the idea. What do you think about handwritten letters that don't look very neat and polished? Is handwritten always better than typed? Or should I just type?
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[*] posted on 6-9-2016 at 01:15 AM


Kukkakärpänen -

I might be in the minority, but I say communicate however you feel most comfortable. As many people have already indicated, it's not so much the format of the letter, but rather the content. Maybe you can type the letter and add little notes or comments in the margins to personalize it a bit? That said, I don't think anyone would be displeased to receive a messy handwritten letter!
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