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Tuftycat
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biggrin.gif posted on 27-10-2010 at 03:34 PM
Penpal Discussion Thread!


Here's a thread where we can all discuss penpalling or ask questions! If you've any stories to share let's hear them! :D
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Solstice_3
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[*] posted on 12-2-2018 at 07:30 AM


Personally I'm more for snail mail, I agree I would want to reply instantly to an email or feel like I should. Some people like to exchange a few emails before writing a letter which can help sometimes. I started one penpal friendship exchanging a few emails first and it went well.
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[*] posted on 12-2-2018 at 09:35 AM


I'd agree with Solstice_3, TaintedVampyre - emails feel more like business work to me, but I understand that's sometimes what works better for other people. Basically I don't think there's a universal "wrong or right" way to think about it, it's just preference. Personally I haven't had much success with email pals (or just emails to friends) but I think that's because I associate sitting down in front of a screen with office work, and I can't get past that in my head. There is something more freeing about sticking with pen and paper, strangely - I feel like there's a lot more planning that is involved, in terms of time management and supplies, but the feeling of carrying letters with you and paper to reply on is fantastic. That said, all my current pals I found online, and we definitely exchanged messages online before committing to writing on paper. Strangely enough, with the pals I'm closest to, we've actually migrated to social media and/or instant messaging as the first point of contact, because it's easier. For me personally, I think that was a natural progression in the friendships, although it makes me miss receiving snail mail from them! :)
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[*] posted on 26-5-2018 at 06:01 PM


Hello dear penpallers and snailmailers!

I am curious - how often do you (typically) write to a given penpal - every month? every week? couple times a year?
And: How many penpals at once do/did you have? I probably wouldn't be able to handle more than one or two, but that's just me.
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[*] posted on 26-5-2018 at 09:19 PM


I have a good handful of penpals but they are all different, some I write to maybe 4 times a year but we write long letters, others prefer shorter letters more often. I send birthday cards and Christmas cards to all, and exchange gifts with some but not all of my penpals.
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[*] posted on 27-5-2018 at 01:50 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Corbomite  
Hello dear penpallers and snailmailers!

I am curious - how often do you (typically) write to a given penpal - every month? every week? couple times a year?
And: How many penpals at once do/did you have? I probably wouldn't be able to handle more than one or two, but that's just me.


I used to write a lot more frequently to a lot more pals, but most have lost touch or have become "real" friends who stay in touch on social media. I would like to write more but I'm taking it easy at the moment and also waiting for people to possibly reply. So I'd say, probably 2-3 letters/postcards per pal per year? I have 2-3 more regular ones at the moment, and a bunch of people who I write to less frequently (maybe once a year, if that). All of them are comparatively short letters for me. (I used to write around 15 pages for long letter pals.) :)
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[*] posted on 27-5-2018 at 08:33 AM


I can handle as much as I currently have around 35/40 penpals.
Some are fairly new and ive only exchanged 1/ 2 letters with. Others have been penpals for about 10 years. I write back within a month or it can be up to 2 months. Most of my pals are on my facebook and we keep in touch there too.
All my letters are handwritten and occasionally i type them on my old typewriter.
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[*] posted on 21-7-2018 at 12:54 PM


I would love to write to another female anywhere in the world. I always respond to letters and it has been so much fun for me to write internationally, though I have not done so since I was 19 because I stopped receiving responses (I have penpals in the US where I live though).
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[*] posted on 3-8-2018 at 03:17 AM


Quote: Originally posted by Corbomite  
Hello dear penpallers and snailmailers!

I am curious - how often do you (typically) write to a given penpal - every month? every week? couple times a year?
And: How many penpals at once do/did you have? I probably wouldn't be able to handle more than one or two, but that's just me.


ideally i would like to write once a month with each but with most penpals it has hardly ever been so -with some it can be only 2 or 3 letters yearly ...when i was teenager i had a lot of penpals and could handle it better than now my work takes a lot of my energy -at best i can handle 2 letters weekly :D i have about 10 penpals -my oldest it´s now 28+ yrs we write :D

since postcrossing i´ve had some postcard pals too it´s also really nice though cannot share much on card and it takes time to choose a card, stamp etc too :) my oldest postcard pal in taiwan it´s now 7+ yrs we write cards -almost monthly :)

im so glad about these contacts that last and have also met several of my penpals :) some old penpals are in facebook now or transferred to just e-mailing but i find that so much less personal and it´s confusing me -i don´t have the feeling to follow up social media :umm: it´s nice to e-mail sometimes though and if anything need to know fast can communicate quickly :lol:
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[*] posted on 5-8-2018 at 02:51 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Corbomite  
Hello dear penpallers and snailmailers!

I am curious - how often do you (typically) write to a given penpal - every month? every week? couple times a year?
And: How many penpals at once do/did you have? I probably wouldn't be able to handle more than one or two, but that's just me.


This is interesting question! And I really enjoyed reading other people’s replies.

For me, I usually write 2 or 3 letters a week.Though I can find time to write, I cannot do that when I am tired. So I usually write Saturday or Sunday.
I have around 10 penpals, but the pace is different as others say. Some of them are about three or four times a year. I send Birthday cards and Christmas cards to some of them as well.

I think new penpals are so quickly to reply. And of course , there’re some countries that can carry mails quickly each other, but some are slow.

Last year, i only had 3 pen pals. And we are so slow(but letters are long!) But I couldn’t exchange less than 10 times a year with them :snob: So I felt like I want to do more, so I made more friends and created snail mail Instagram account. However I noticed that people who have lots of penpals tend to be negligent to each person. I am wondering “enough” number of penpals... :bisou:
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[*] posted on 15-1-2019 at 06:31 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Solstice_3  
I have a good handful of penpals but they are all different, some I write to maybe 4 times a year but we write long letters, others prefer shorter letters more often. I send birthday cards and Christmas cards to all, and exchange gifts with some but not all of my penpals.



I have a couple of penpals now, I write postcards most days but if they send me a letter I reply with a letter too. If possible I try to reply within the next week after I receive the mail because otherwise I forget, so I just make some time during the week to do that.

Some penpals are super active and send a couple of things a month, others send evey other month. Just in case we keep in touch also via Instagram or email so we can check if everything is ok more easily.

I don't normally exchange gifts with my penpals, but sometimes I feel like sending some stickers or page markers. Most of the times I just prefer words, ideas and memories than gifts.

Because I write about different and complex things I keep a notebook with all the topics I've writen about and other useful information about their preferences and highlight some of the things they have answered, so every time I sit down I write something interesting to read for them.

Last year I sent Christmas postcards, this year I hope to send birthay cards too.
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[*] posted on 8-2-2019 at 07:04 PM


Hello dears!
My name is Anastasia, I'm 20 years old and I really dream about a pen PAL. I twice tried to find a paper friend, but in response to his letter and did not wait. I hope it will come again. I won't tell you much about myself here, because I want to share everything on paper. Languages: Russian, English.
My address:
Ul. Minskaya 39-24
Samara
443035
Russia
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[*] posted on 22-4-2019 at 04:18 AM


I started exchanging letters when I joined a penpal club in 1989. Today I still exchange cards with one in France, one in NZ and one in Quebec Canada. We exchange now maybe twice or 3 times a year. It is so good to receive a letter/hand written. We do not email. I sit back in front room and have a drink and read the letter. During those 30 years I had ones daughter visit here, then ones niece visit and we as a family visited the one from Quebec. We shared moments of good times and sad times in our letters. Trust me after 30 years there are sad times!
I had about 4 more penpal but time has marched on. Two of those lasted about 5 years The best pen pal I had was the one I married in 1994 after being penpals for 4 years. I had wanted a pen pal from the USSR/ Baltic republics. I wanted to learn about growing up in the USSR and I wanted USSR stamps. Its now 25 years and 3 kids later.
I always say to people interested in how we met it was stamp collecting that introduced me to my wife. I recommend having pen pals, someone to share your thoughts with. You can actually get quit close to them without seeing them. OK today its a little different but you get my drift.
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[*] posted on 22-4-2019 at 05:32 AM


Quote: Originally posted by cpaige  
I started exchanging letters when I joined a penpal club in 1989. Today I still exchange cards with one in France, one in NZ and one in Quebec Canada. We exchange now maybe twice or 3 times a year. It is so good to receive a letter/hand written. We do not email. I sit back in front room and have a drink and read the letter. During those 30 years I had ones daughter visit here, then ones niece visit and we as a family visited the one from Quebec. We shared moments of good times and sad times in our letters. Trust me after 30 years there are sad times!
I had about 4 more penpal but time has marched on. Two of those lasted about 5 years The best pen pal I had was the one I married in 1994 after being penpals for 4 years. I had wanted a pen pal from the USSR/ Baltic republics. I wanted to learn about growing up in the USSR and I wanted USSR stamps. Its now 25 years and 3 kids later.
I always say to people interested in how we met it was stamp collecting that introduced me to my wife. I recommend having pen pals, someone to share your thoughts with. You can actually get quit close to them without seeing them. OK today its a little different but you get my drift.


That's really sweet :)
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[*] posted on 24-11-2019 at 05:53 PM


What are your thoughts on writing to a pen pal constantly, like without waiting for their reply? Is it difficult to manage, confusing? Or do some of you prefer writing a letter, receiving a reply, and then responding again? Basically taking turns? Let me know what you think!
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[*] posted on 25-11-2019 at 07:05 PM


I'm having a hard time finding legit honest long term pen pals who are females ages 21 to 50 yrs old. It's hard to find someone who actually wants to chat before exchanging letters and who actually can keep the convo going. If they can't that means to me they can't keep letters going
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[*] posted on 11-12-2019 at 05:55 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Draven  
What are your thoughts on writing to a pen pal constantly, like without waiting for their reply? Is it difficult to manage, confusing? Or do some of you prefer writing a letter, receiving a reply, and then responding again? Basically taking turns? Let me know what you think!


I always take turns, i want to write a letter to reply my penpals questions, comment on subjects etc.

I did exchange a diary style letter written in a notebook for a penpal a couple times.
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[*] posted on 7-5-2020 at 07:11 PM


Quote: Originally posted by Draven  
What are your thoughts on writing to a pen pal constantly, like without waiting for their reply? Is it difficult to manage, confusing? Or do some of you prefer writing a letter, receiving a reply, and then responding again? Basically taking turns? Let me know what you think!


when my parents were writing to each other my dad would send a letter every month or every 6 weeks, although back then mail was a lot less reliable and would take a long time to receive replies. He would also number them so my mom could see if it was a new letter or a response.
I think nowadays I would write once a month, including replies. I wouldn't over do it, but i also think a letter a week would be too much. I would at least clarify if I was responding or if it was a 'new' letter.
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[*] posted on 9-5-2020 at 11:54 AM


Quote: Originally posted by PenPal07  
I'm having a hard time finding legit honest long term pen pals who are females ages 21 to 50 yrs old. It's hard to find someone who actually wants to chat before exchanging letters and who actually can keep the convo going. If they can't that means to me they can't keep letters going


I was having the same issue. I like swapping as well a few stuff so I was looking around for some groups on Facebook. Mind you, a lot of them are full of scammers sadly.

I ran across one that caught my eye directly and I met a few new friends with same interests and I havent been ghosted ever since.

If you have facebook I will be glad to give you a link to it :)
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[*] posted on 14-5-2020 at 01:35 PM


Sometimes I think people don't know what to say/write. To me, letters are still conversations but with delayed dialogue.
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[*] posted on 15-5-2020 at 04:33 PM


anyone ever sent a mail by surprise for long forgotten penpal? or not as close as penpal, but kind person you've swap with?
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[*] posted on 24-5-2020 at 08:29 AM


Quote: Originally posted by shc  
anyone ever sent a mail by surprise for long forgotten penpal? or not as close as penpal, but kind person you've swap with?


I haven't, but maybe only because I move so often, and I can only forward mail for a year max, so anything sent to my multiple old addresses would be lost for good. I have a PO box now, so I hope that will help, but also now I generally write/send a lot less... and the penpals I lost won't know the address, so it's not helpful in that way at the moment!
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